Saturday, April 27, 2013

Long Time No See!

It's been a few years since I've updated this thing, but I've been into this whole typing-out-my-thoughts thing, and thought that publishing things would be a good way to get my thoughts out there. So I'm going with it.

Things have severely changed with me since my last post which was...2009?? Yeah, I've since graduated from college with a degree in Spanish Language and Culture, and am now working for a mortgage company, bordering on almost a year now.
One of the residual effects of not being in college anymore is that there aren't quite as many people that I interact with in a given day to share my thoughts with, and really talk things out. And with the beautiful fact that I don't have to spend my Saturdays working anymore, I now have a heady amount of free time. I think I want to use this free time productively.

For today, I watched a few movies.
The last one I watched is the movie Daybreakers, which is about a world of vampires and a blood doctor that finds the "cure" for vampirism, to return to humanity.

This movie was really interesting. One of the most popular stereotypes of vampires is that they burst into flames when their skin comes into contact with sunlight. So the very contemporary world of vampires live like normal human beings, except nocturnally, to avoid the sunlight. It's funny that I read this morning the scripture in 1 Thessalonians 5 that says, "You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet."

I feel like it translates very well to this movie. Vampires aren't really alive--they have no heartbeat. So they are children of the night, if you will, forced to live when the sun is NOT out. But it's not really living if the entire definition of your existence is death, is it? The main character of this movie, Edward Dalton, knew that. He was a Hematologist--a blood doctor--who was looking for a way to synthesize blood, so that vampires wouldn't eliminate the human race trying to continue existing.
I guess being a Hematologist would give life a more sober perspective, knowing and researching the very thing that makes life possible--for the living as well as the dead. It made Edward more sober. He understood better than anyone the vampiric need for blood, and how bad it really was, since they were destroying humans to survive. As a result, he shied away from blood more than anyone. He was one of the manufacturing company's greatest assets, so he had access to more pure blood than the average citizen, and yet when offered blood-saturated coffee, he chose to abstain. When his brother, who was part of the "vampire army," came home with a bottle of some high-quality human blood that his position allowed him to obtain, Edward's first and only reaction was to pour it down the drain. He hated that he was hurting others to survive, that he had to depend on something so gruesome just so he could comfortably see another day.
He saw the need for blood, and even when the temptation was there, he backed off from it. A human literally sliced her hand open and poured some of her blood into a cup so he could quench some level of his thirst and remain focused when he first met a large group of humans--whose natural tendency was to stay as far away from a vampire as possible; Edward all but begged the human to save her blood, that he didn't want it.

Who really fights like that anymore? I know I need to. "I beat my body and make it my slave," Paul said. My sinful nature will want some things that are not supposed to be obtained, so I need to fight it and make my body do what I want it to do, not what it desires to do.

When it came time for the change--when Edward discovered the cure, to become human again, there was much at stake. The cure was found in the middle of pain. Exposing oneself to sunlight to jump start the heart and LIVE again was the answer.
When gold is purified, it has to be put through fire so that all of the impurities and imperfections can rise to the top and be scraped off. Just so you know.

Being a true Christian--a disciple of Christ--is hard work. It almost sounds like a cliche by now because everyone "knows" it. But really, seriously, it's not easy. It hasn't been easy for me. But I know that there's more to life than just enjoying it and avoiding the fires of growth and maturity. There's heaven. And if I need to go through suffering and torture and tears and frustration in order to learn how to love God and trust in God and live for God so that God can know me and I can know him and he won't say to me, "I never knew you! Away from me, you evildoers," but rather, "well done, good and faithful servant," then so be it. God is worth any and every bit of trouble I have to go through if it means I get to be with him. So I can take a lesson from Dr. Edward Dalton and his resistant attitude toward a condition that he couldn't help and had to deal with, but didn't know how he was going to get out of. I don't know if I will ever have "relief," but I know there's more. So I'll fight. And let my God fight for me.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's been a really long time since I've updated this blog. Wow, it's been a really long time. I'll get back to it soon, I promise. There's definitely a lot on my mind. You want a glimpse into what's goin on?


Compassion is definitely a hot topic. I've been thinking deeply on that the past few days, and what it really means, how I'm living compassionately in my life, and what I can do better to be more biblically accurate in how I show compassion to people.

Another thing that has been brewing in my mind...mostly since last night, has been the idea of dreams. Having dreams in my life. I've sat and thought about it and realized I don't have any solid dreams for my life. How pathetic is that. I know I want to go to UNCC for school, I know I really like Spanish, among other foreign languages, and I know I want to serve God in whatever I do. But, for now, that's all there is. I don't have any dreams for anything right now. That is definitely gonna change soon tho, I know. Nobody can live for very long with no dreams.

So yeah...that and a lot more, is on the way lol...thank you if you are still following this blog, visiting the site every once in a while to see if it's still up and running is. I've just been very lazy about it lately. But I'm gonna try to change that. My summer is up to nothing but work, church, and hanging out. I get a lot of free time in between those "topics of activity," i guess you could call them. So i should be back soon. Stay tuned!!

Peace and love from God!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Learn to be weak

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.--2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I can do all everything through him who gives me strength.--Philippians 4:13

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will--to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.--Ephesians 1:4-6

The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.--Matthew 26:41

For about the past week, I've been focusing on learning how to be completely weak. To submit to this fact that I'm weak, and to know that it's impossible for me to get anywhere on my own. In this weakness, I've been learning to discover that I am truly nothing without God's help. I can do nothing without God's help. Trying to do things on my own, or depending on logical thinking to get me through will NOT provide me the answer I need to have to get through anything.

That's the problem with the human creation. We have free will, and a brain that has the capacity to process complex situations and come to a conclusion. And we think that 's enough. We think we have things under control because we know how to think about stuff to find an answer. Yeah, it may be an answer, but is it THE answer?

Another thing humans like to do is find justification in everything. Why the earth turns, why the sun is hot, why we're attracted to each other...what's really out there? Even the natural inclination to believe that there's something bigger than us that is "in control." The ideal definition of control is making sure everything works in harmony and doesn't collide into a big disaster.

However, God is not just "in control," but he's IN CONTROL. You waking up in the morning? Yeah, you could explain that in science class, but God allowed you to wake up. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. Who knows? you could just have heart failure in your sleep and die. Or you could be bitten by a deadly spider in your sleep. So waking up is a gift from God. Or how about this? Your car starting? Yeah, that's God. Sure, mechanics could explain why a car starts, but what about those times when a spark plug or something sits beautifully in place and then randomly decides to pop out one afternoon as you're pulling into a certain neighborhood, and then you go knock on the door of someone that could very possibly change your life forever--or even you could change their life.
There are too many unexplained variables in life to think that we're all there is. You can call it luck, fate, karma, lucky underwear--whatever it is, it's nothing compared to God. GOD IS IN CONTROL.

Mark 10:27--With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.

The context of this scripture is salvation. A rich young man couldn't sell his possessions to follow Jesus. Jesus's point was to store treasure in heaven, not on earth. Hope and wait for something more than this earth could offer.
But this scripture is relevant for everything. Because salvation is just the start. It doesn't end there. If anything, things get harder. Because there was a war in heaven, once upon a time. Jesus decked the heaven out of Satan, and threw him and his croonies out of heaven. Now, in anger, jealousy, and what-have-you, Satan wants to do everything he can to get you away from God.

But there is hope. There is always hope. Trust in God, depend on God, live for Him and fight to stay living for Him, and you can grow. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You don't grow by picking dasies. You grow by chucking rocks across a river--while standing waist-deep in it. It's gonna be rough trying to get it across, but after you do it a few times, it'll be "nothin but a thing" as my dad likes to put it. Why? Because you've been growing in strength, getting that rock across the river.

Just admit you're weak and you can't do it alone. Admit you need God. Do whatever you need to, talk to whoever you need to (including me if you would like) to come to that full realization. From the biggest decision of your life, to even deciding what to eat for lunch--you need God's help. Yeah, you laugh at deciding on lunch, but you never know. Try it sometime. You may just be surprised.

But take a look at Ephesians 1. My bible titles it as "Spiritual Blessings in Christ." Everything under that section is what you can achieve by admitting you're weak and depending fully on God. It may seem impossible--being created to be holy and blameless...can we as humans ever really achieve that? Mark 10:27--it's possible with God.

To anyone who reads this: I love you, and my prayer and wish is that if you don't know God, don't know Jesus and what he did for YOU on the Cross, don't appreciate it, don't live for him, to live to your prayer is that you will come to know him some day.

To God be the Glory.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

1 Peter 4:1-8

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do--living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Amen. This is a rather large scripture, and there's a lot to dig through, but we can do it :)

So, to start off, let's talk about suffering. A very interesting concept in and of itself, but when combined with the context of this scripture, it takes on a deeper meaning. Jesus Christ--God in the flesh--came down to earth so that we--frail human beings--might have the chance at salvation. He taught us a new way to live, with some non-traditional actions, and then was arrested for teaching these things and performing the miracles he did. He was flogged--39 lashes of a cat-of-nine-tails; a whip with shards of metal and glass and bone at the end of it. He wore a crown of thorns on his head--which caused rather a lot of bleeding: the head is the most vascular part of the body, so bleeds really easily. He had huge nails drove through his hands and feet. And, what I think is the worst kind of suffering he could go through: being separated from his Abba Father, with whom he was very close, because he took on the sin of the world. And Isaiah 59:2 says that our sin separates us from God.
Why did he suffer so? Because he loves us, and because it says in 1 Peter 2: 18-22 that slaves (in essence, us before our supreme master, God) should submit to their masters with all respect--and that goes for the masters who are harsh as well as those who are just. Because (vv19) "it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God." And in the second half of verse 20, it says "But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God." So Jesus' suffering for us on that cross, and in the beating of his mortal body for us, is commendable before God, and thus he rose on the 3rd day, becoming one with God yet again.

And it is the same with us. We as Christians will suffer abuse--as it says in verse 4--for being different than the worldly people around us. But if we stand up under the abuse and the unjust suffering that will come from the persecution we receive--(2 Timothy 3:12--In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted)--we will stand commendable before God, and as a result, we will live a life free from sin.

And not only that. Verse 2 says that as we suffer and live a life free from sin, we will be living for the will of God, and not the evil desires that so plague this world today. What exactly are the evil desires? Well, in verse 3 it says that the pagans--those who are not Christians--chose to live in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing, and detestable idolatry. Yep, I can definitely see the non-Christians of today still doing those things. And even today they too think it's strange that Christians don't "plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation." Just the other week this drunk guy came into the dorm building, boasting about some sketch bar of some sort, where the women degraded themselves by barely wearing clothes and served the guys hot wings. He had asked us (a couple of friends of mine and me) if we would go to that sort of thing--even for just the wings--and was astonished at how we all answered no. Granted, at that point there was no abuse going on, but it is the same principle in effect--he thought us strange and, if he were a little more sober or drunk--you can never tell who's more violent these days--he most likely would have heaped insults at us, and attempted to make fools of us for choosing such a lifestyle.

But hey, verse 5 says that people like him will have to give account to "him who is ready to judge the living and the dead." All we can do as disciples is live out John 13:34 and love him as Jesus loved us.

Verse 7 changes gears a little bit and starts talking about the urgency of living a godly live here and now. "The end of all things is near," it says. Not even Jesus knows the day or the hour (Mark 13:32), but we have to be prepared for when it does come, so we can be presented pure and blameless before God. So, to do this, we need to be clear minded and self-controlled to be able to pray--and the importance of prayer is an entirely other can of worms--but the focus here is to be clear minded and self-controlled. The way to do that is to repent of whatever sin that is in your life (and you will receive times of refreshing--Acts 3:19) and to live out God's commands, so you can have control over your mortal body, and you won't give in to its evil desires.

And of course, verse 8 is an echo of John 13:34 when it says "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." Love is another one of those big subjects that is way too big to explain fully in the midst of another focus. But love--especially love like that which God has for us--is much, much stronger than anything creation could possibly come up with (Romans 8:38).

So what have we learned? Suffering in your body--fighting sin--helps you to overcome that sin and helps you to live the rest of your life for the will of God.
Non-Christians live crazy, out-of-control lives and think it's strange that you, a Christian, don't join in, and will sometimes "heap abuse" on you for it. But they will be held accountable for that too--just as we will be held accountable for living lives unlike those that "pagans" are living.
The end is coming. We don't know when it is, but we wanna be ready, so we're gonna be clear minded and self-controlled so that we can pray--which can help in all situations.
Let's love. It's stronger than anything the enemy can devise, so let's use it to drown out his attacks.

I love you all, I hope you got something out of this--I certainly did.

To God be the Glory.


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

My friend Gideon and I have decided that we are going to start getting radical about boasting about our weaknesses--as 2 Corinthians 12:8 talks about. Part of that, we have decided, is reflecting for about 24 hours on a certain scripture. And this is our first one.
And this is my preliminary reflection.

The first thing I notice about this scripture when I read it, is God's mercy. Unfathomable. We as humans screw up sooooo often, many times having to do with the same subject sooooo repeatedly, it's a wonder God doesn't just get rid of us immediately. But he doesn't. He has mercy on us. Or, to make it personal, he has mercy on ME. My life is so screwed up, just because of the fact that I'm human, and God still gives me yet another chance, and then another, and YET another. Why? Because he loves me. He knows I'm trying with my entire being to live for him, and that I have a much larger purpose than wallowing in the everyday mistakes I make, so he sets me up for another chance to do something to show my love.

Which is what he does in this scripture. He sets it up by telling Paul to give this command: be a living sacrifice. But not only be a sacrifice, but offer yourself as a living sacrifice. I don't know about you, but it helps me understand the content better if I know the actual definition of different words that have specific meanings. Like, for instance, sacrifice. To sacrifice means to give up or surrender something for the sake of something else. In this case, you're giving up your body--as the scripture says--for the sake of being holy and pleasing to God. That means that whatever your body feels at any point in time--fill in the blank--it doesn't matter. Because God has mercy on you, you should want to show your gratitude by striving for holiness as best you can. And you know that can't be accomplished on your own--as humans, like I said, we are ridiculously weak. We can't swat a fly without the help of a plastic device to squash it for us. So what we need to do is sacrifice ourselves completely to God--surrender ourselves, give our carnal desires up--to show our gratitude--our worship--to God. Because of what God has done for us, we need to show gratitude. I know I can't help but do that. I know what he brought me from.

Verse 2 goes on to say that we shouldn't blend in with the standards set by the world, and follow its patterns--and by that I mean that anything that separates a true Christian/disciple from anything they would consider "the world"; instead, we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Go back and read that last part again. Transformed. Renewing. I'm gonna be a stickler again and give definitions for each of these words.
Transformed: "To change the nature, function, or condition of."
Renewing: "reviving, restablishing."
Okay, let's put that into context: Change the nature, the function, the condition of your mind by reviving and restablishing it.
Alright. Now what does that mean? Well, it's not put after verse one for nothing. Sacrificing yourself, your body, to God, and living for him will alone transform your mind, and renew it. When I say "living for him" however, I mean truly living for him. Not just saying that you live for him. Nothing transforms if there's only half a plan, or half a heart behind the plan. You can plan to change the nature of the economy, President Obama, but unless your entire heart is behind it, it's never gonna happen. (Disclaimer: I am not making a political statement. I am stating an example of a decision that truly needs a full heart--that needs sacrifice, in order to be accomplished. And for the record, there is no authority on earth that hasn't been established by God, so President Obama, I pray that your plan for the economy is seen through to fruition.)
So anyway, truly living for God, truly sacrificing yourself to be holy and pleasing before your Eternal Father, will find your mind transformed. It will find your mind renewed in its habits, in the normal thought patterns that are formed throughout the day, consciously and unconsciously.

Hmm...interesting thought. Gideon, if you're reading this, you're hitting the nail on the head today with this scripture. Amen.

The rest of the verse goes on to say "Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
So after you sacrifice your desires/feelings to be holy and pleasing before God, and after your mind is transformed and renewed as a result of truly living for Him, you will be able to know what to do to, and you'll know how to challenge the knowledge you have and are presented to discern whether or not it is truly God's will. What is God's will though? It's whatever God wants from us--what he wants us to do, where he wants us to go, what he wants us to say...the list of the question words is limitless. As we continue in God's word, studying it out, getting deep to the heart of the matter, the Spirit reveals to us what God wants from us at that time--whether it be more humility, more strength, more's what God wants from us. Plain and simple.

So amen. Who knew 2 verses could say so much? I certainly never thought about this verse to that extent before...even though I've read it countless times. But God's will is for me to get something from this verse. And amen, I certainly did. There is definitely much to think about, to mull meditate on. So as I meditate on this scripture, and what exactly God wants from me from this verse, here's a challenge. You do it too. Really think deeply about this verse, and what God could possibly want you to hear from the words written on that page. Even if you've read that very verse a hundred times a thousand. I'm sure there's something new there. God still reveals stuff like this to me in verses I've read and even thought deeply about before. But the season is different for every situation. So I have to be prepared, and be able to test and approve what exactly God wants from me.

To God be the Glory!!! and May his grace be enough for you!!!

I love you all <3

Monday, February 16, 2009


Okay, so quick update: Jonathan is now out of the hospital and back at his apartment. And apparently he's going to be going back to classes starting tomorrow!! Dude's a trooper, that's for sure.

So it seems the big conversation-starter of late is the subject of love. The way we show love for each other--disciples and non-disciples. God's love in general, God's love for each of us, Christ's love on the Cross...the list just keeps expanding. And honestly, it's a good thing to touch on. Because as humans, we are born with the deep, innate, almost primal need to be loved, and to love. Whether it be in the form of a person or even an object, we all search for love in something. And with Valentine's day having just passed, the focus on relationships and what they mean for people is intensified. Those with boyfriends or girlfriends are appreciative of their significant other, and choose this time of year to show this appreciation in the best way they know how. The single people of this world are a little more on the lonely side of the playing field--they see the couples around them loving each other, and openly showing that love, and they want someone to love them like that; they want to love someone like that.

Well amen. There IS someone who loves you like that, whether you're single or taken. He loves you so much, he's even made the decision to die for you. You were sentenced to a fate that means you would have to be tortured for eternity--try to imagine that--and this person loves you so much, he decided to die so you wouldn't have to go through all that. He took all the blame, and all the wrong things you've done or been, and was tortured, so you would have a chance at life.
His name is Jesus Christ. And he wants you to know him, he wants you to know what he did for you. He wants you to live for him, since he died for you. He can guarantee you life--more than you could ever imagine now--and prosperity in life, and all you have to do is make the decision to live for him, and then follow him with all your heart--make him the Lord of your life--the most important thing you will ever live for.

If that's not love, please tell me what is. And in coming to die for you, he decided to impart some knowledge before he left, so you can get the most out of this decision to live for him. And the second greatest commandment he gave while walking on this earth was to love your neighbor as yourself. Show others you love them, just as Jesus loved you. Be an example for Christ. Love him with all your heart, and love others around you to show that you reflect the love that he was able to show to you.

There is also a model, of sorts, to let you in on how you can truly love others. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Think on that a little bit. Let love guide your actions. Let it be who you are. You will get along with more people--a lot less arguing will be involved, lemme tell you.
At bible talk today at CPCC, Harmony brought up this perfect example. Be Love, as you go throughout the day. Not loving, but rather Love. Personify this perfect example of God's reason for creating us. A lot more will be accomplished, and you will find not only your life improving, but also the lives of those around you. Try it, see what happens :D

Here's a few love scriptures:
John 13:34--A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 3:16--For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life.

1 John 3:1--How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

1 John 2:10--Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.

Galatians 5:6--The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

Galatians 5:13--...serve one another in love.

John 14:21--Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.

I love you guys--lemme know what you think.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


There's something people who don't follow Jesus as the One true Way need to understand: God is real. He knows everything about you, even the stuff you don't tell him. And if you're distressed and you cry out to him for help, for peace, for comfort...he'll give it to you. Granted, not many times will you see him come down from the clouds himself, since he's a spirit, but he does a lot of other things in your life to show you he's listening and does really care about you.
I hope this is encouraging for you.

My brother, Jonathan Luu, was recently admitted into Carolina Medical Center at University due to a collapsed lung, caused by a rupture in the organ that caused air to leak into his chest cavity. I went to see him today, and he is doing amazing, considering his condition. He is sitting up, eating and drinking--more than he normally does in a day--and is interacting with the many, many people who come to see him; still making less movement than he's ever made in his life. According to the doctors and nurses, he is recovering rapidly. The nurse said there's dramatic improvment in the second x-ray, and the surgeon that put the tube in his chest to vacuum out the oxygen in his chest cavity said that he is one of the best conditioned patients he's ever had in his entire practice; there is no reason to worry about his other organs failing; they are very, very strong. Jonathan himself said he's doing pretty good, despite the conditions.

I, however, had a little bit of a harder time accepting all this good news. All i heard was "Jonathan's in the hospital"...which meant he was bad enough so that he wouldn't be doing okay outside the hospital room. I don't know how you would react to it, but it scared the life out of me. I cried a lot yesterday, so much fear running through my mind. But I did what I've been trained to do--pray. I prayed like crazy. I prayed that Jonathan would be alright, that he would make a fast and favorable recovery, and that I would have peace and comfort in my heart about the situation. I prayed for a peace of mind, so that my day entirely wasn't thrown off by this news. God calmed my mind a lil bit, and then used a couple indirect things to help things ago. One of the things came in the form of York Brady. He has his quiet times, and then sends out a mass text of a scripture he looked at during the quiet time. Usually they come at 6:45 in the morning. This time tho, it decided to arrive at 10:30 at night. God planned it that way so I would have some comfort--I believe it with everything in me.

Revalation 7:17--For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

That encouraged me so much. It helped bring peace to my mind. And then today, when I went to visit him, at one point it was just me, him and his girlfriend, Niki, in the room, and Jonathan suggested that someone find an encouraging scripture to read, since he hadnt had a chance to have his quiet time yet. Niki looked at me, implying that I should do it. So I picked up his bible and opened it, just trying to find a starting point for where to look. The page it happened to settle on, and the verse my eyes just happened to see first, was Jeramiah 30:17.

'But I will restore you to health, and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord.

If that isn't direct encouragement that everything'll be okay, I honestly don't know what is. So here I am, getting encouraged out the wazoo, yet still stressing about Jonathan being in the hospital. It just didn't settle well with me that one of the guys I considered invincible was lying in a hospital bed.
But I went to Bible Talk tonight, and Jeff did a message based off the scripture in Matthew 7.

vv13--Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Basically, what the point of that lesson amounted to, was that God needs to be the focal point, the complete Lord of my life. We can't try to squeeze God into our standards; it won't work. You're not close to God by doing that. We have to submit ourselves over to God. Everything. Not just what's convenient.
I felt kinda out of it during Bible Talk, so all of that didn't impact me immediately. But once I returned to my room, I began to feel overheated. Something in me told me that it was God telling me to go outside to pray--I would feel cooled off, and closer to God all at the same time. So I did that. And in my prayer, I realized what Jeff was talking about during his lesson, and gave everything over to God. Including my nagging anxiety at Jonathan being confined to a hospital bed. I gave it over to God and told him to deal with it, because there is more I need to do with my life, than worry about something I already know is okay.

Lemme tell ya--doing that did numbers to my mind and heart. I felt peace, I felt joy. Jonathan is in good hands--both with God on his side and with the excellent doctors and nurses taking care of him. I have no reason to worry. God is awesome, and can do anything he pleases. I just gave it to him, and let him have it, and then thanked him for everything he had done in my life--from letting me see Jonathan, to letting me wake up that morning, to saving me from the darkness I was covered in.
And now, here I sit. At peace with the situation, and joyful that it'll get better. And my thoughts are focused on God--I am applying the scriptures I have heard and absorbed to my life, to get rid of the earthly nature that threatens to destroy me, and to get closer to God with all of my being.

God is amazing. If you don't believe, look again. Ask him to meet you where you are. There's no harm in doing that--and you never know just how astonishing the results actually may be.

I love you all!!!!!